Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Winning and Losing

I'm at a loss.

What do you say, when you've prayed and prayed and prayed for a thing, and God still says no?

When you've prayed in faith, believing?

When you've prayed, knowing that the thing for which you pray supports the things of God?

And still, He says no.

Hunk O Man and I went through 3.5 years of infertility. That was years of climbing on tables, getting injections, taking pills, having ultrasounds, blood test after blood test, enough temperature charts to wallpaper a room, and even injections given by Hunk O Man himself.

I prayed and prayed; I questioned God about exactly what stuff was on the divine list of things He wanted me to do (just give me the list!), I begged, I pleaded, I cried. I shut down. I stamped my feet, I shook my fist. I cried some more.

And I hate to admit that it took 3.5 years for God to get one simple concept across to me, but it did. I am rather thick-headed about some things. Honestly, I really felt like such an idiot when I finally figured it out.

And it was simply this, that God had been saying to me all along --

"I'm in charge here."

No kidding. That was it, that was all. I was unable to control the situation, and I wasn't getting my way.

So -- it was up to me to decide whether or not I was going to completely trust my Father in Heaven, or I was going to insist on having my way, and upon not getting it, throwing a lifelong fit over it.

Well, obviously I chose to trust Him. Kind of a duh choice, huh? To me, really, not even much of a choice at all, given that He is Creator of the universe and all.

During that time, I read a book called "Trusting God" by Jerry Bridges. It changed the way I viewed God. It completely turned my faith upside down and inside out. God used it, and God spoke to me through it.

So . . .

When I look at all the energy and time I put into praying for the election yesterday, and its outcome, I have to go back to what I learned a long time ago.

And five beautiful, wonderful, twins-the-first-time children ago.

"Hello, Princess. This is God. I'm still in charge."

Oh! That's right, HE is in charge after all!

Not the people of America, not the electoral college, not popular opinion, not the media.

JESUS is in charge.

Just for reassurance, I looked up John 19:10-11, which is where Pilate asks Jesus if He realises that Pilate has the authority to pardon Him -- and Jesus reminds Pilate that Pilate has no authority that wasn't granted to him by God.

How I am thanking Him for that!
I smile at the warmth that envelopes me with this knowledge! With this assurrance!

And what a call to prayer this is, for all of us who hit our knees for our nation. What an opportunity for us to stand in the gap for this great nation and all our military. What a challenge to us to rise to this responsibility -- to whom much is given, much will be required. For the next four years and beyond, our prayers must be ceaseless. And our trust in the God who controls all things must be unwavering.

So, all in all, whew! God is still in His heaven, He still loves those whom He has called, and despite all reports to the contrary -- all is right with the world.