today at jen's house: Bah Humbug.

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bah Humbug.

I am married to Ebeneazer Scrooge. The one at the beginning of the story.

Although only Babydoll and I were involved in the Peter Pan play, apparently Hunk O Man, Rose, Bug, Barbie, and JB were unable to get their behinds out the door and over to Lowe's to pick out a tree. Their excuse? "You couldn't come with us."

So here is my living room:

God forbid I ever die. Because if I did, the girls would be dressed in WalMart overalls, own no makeup, never have any clean laundry, live in small house with white walls and no curtains, share the same bedroom, have a freezer full of Banquet Fried Chicken in boxes, and NEVER HAVE A CHRISTMAS TREE.

Bah Humbug.

: (

1 Comment:

Mother Letter said...: Thank you so much for your comments on the MLP way back when. I am compiling the distribution list. Would you please email me your email address so I can be sure you are included?

Thanks.

Danny; December 22, 2008 at 3:05 PM

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The Barbie Diaries

Regarding a pistol that had been passed on from Hunk O Man's father to him:
Barbie: "Dad, you really should get a newer gun. I mean, that one must be from the Rock Era or something.
Hunk O Man: "You mean the Stone Age?"
Barbie: "Rock Era, Stone Age -- whatever. It's all the same."

Regarding various things she is asked and has no idea what the answer is:
Barbie: "How should I know? What am I, a brainiologist?"

Heard while watching one of the "Superman" movies:
Barbie: "Look! It's the planet Crouton!"

We are shopping and I comment that the clothing looks a lot like it did when I was in junior high:
Barbie: "Mom, it's called retro. Next thing you know, my kids will be dressing like cowboys and indians."

Between Hunk O Man and Bunny, regarding semantics:
Barbie: "Whatever, Dad. You say tomato, I say potato."

Heard over the phone as the girls and Hunk O Man are crammed into a rental car, heading to the airport, right after Christmas:
Barbie: "Mama, we're squished in here like sushi!"
Me, laughing: "No, honey, it's sardines."
Barbie: "Sardines? What are sardines?"
Me: "Little fish in a can."
Barbie: "Well, sushi are fish. Same difference."

Remembering a Christmas Day spent in the ER:
Barbie: "Daddy, do you remember I was in the hospital once? I had ammonia."

Driving home from a family reunion, Hunk O Man and I are discussing the relatives we've seen. We are driving in a rural area:
Barbie: "Whatta buncha pigs!"
Me: "Barbie! We don't talk about our relatives like that!"
Barbie: "No, really, Mom. Look!"
I look out the window and we are driving past an actual hog farm -- with LOTS of pigs.

During a conversation one day, as Barbie was talking about a friend of hers:
Barbie: "So then she just looked at me, with that 'moose in the driveway' kind of look."
Me: "That what?"
Barbie: "You know. That moose-in-the-driveway look."
Me, stopping to think for a second: "Oooohhh! You mean the 'deer in the headlights' look?"
Barbie: "Oh. Yeah, whatever. Anyway -- "

In the car, while passing by the Allen Funeral Home :
Barbie: "Oh, look. There's the Alien Funeral Home."

On global warming:
Barbie: "I'm telling you, if there's an ice age, I'm moving."

Having just seen the movie "Ice Age 3:"
Barbie: "Chasm of death? Is it chasm of death?"
JB: "Yes! I've told you a hundred times! Chasm of death!"
Barbie: "Well I don't . . I can't . . I don't have a good rememory!"

On month-old birthday cake:
Barbie: "If I eat this, I'll probably choke, then die, then get cancer 5 years later."
Me: "Then don't eat it."
Barbie: "But I'm hungry!"
Me: "Then eat it!"
Barbie: "Mom. Told you.
Choke. Die. Cancer 5 years later."

today at jen's house

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Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Bah Humbug.

1 Comment:

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