Ow. Ow!

Conflict.

Most of the time when I'm in a conflict situation, it's with one of my immediate family members (as in, one of my daughters). Seldom do I get into it with extended friends or family.

Unfortunately, sometimes I do. We all do; it's part of life.

I had to deal with a conflict today. And I gotta tell you, I'm pretty angry. I really want to lash out. I inadvertently hurt someone with something I said, and they --and several of their friends -- hurt me right back.

So God has blessed me with these gems --

From Proverbs 18:21:

21 Words kill, words give life; they're either poison or fruit—you choose.

And from II Timothy 2:1-5 and 14-17:

1-5Don't be naive. There are difficult times ahead. As the end approaches, people are going to be self-absorbed, money-hungry, self-promoting, stuck-up, profane, contemptuous of parents, crude, coarse, dog-eat-dog, unbending, slanderers, impulsively wild, savage, cynical, treacherous, ruthless, bloated windbags, addicted to lust, and allergic to God. They'll make a show of religion, but behind the scenes they're animals. Stay clear of these people.

14But don't let it faze you. Stick with what you learned and believed, sure of the integrity of your teachers. . .

It's so easy to respond to unkind words with more unkind words. Want to justify that behaviour? Here you go -- honesty is the best policy. Sounds good, doesn't it? Why not let loose with that verbal cannon and just let'er fly?

Because of these two simple facts:

1. Timing is everything.
2. Perception is 100% reality.

No matter what people deserve from you, it is what they get and how they get it that counts.

I hope you all realise that I am talking to myself here most of all. I am chief of sinners in this department. I am so grateful that most exchanges for me happen these days through written communication -- that way I can say something, read it, change it, pray about it, change it again, speak the truth in love, and then finally hit send.

So . . .

Lord, may my words today be graced with your Spirit. You've forgiven me, so how could I possibly hold a grudge against another? Thank you for your Son, in whom I find Your incredible mercy and the kind of forgiveness that took my sins as far from me as the east is from the west.

Lord, You are so good. Thank you so much for loving me. Please forgive me today. And enable me to ask forgiveness from even people who have hurt me -- because of Jesus.

xoxoxox

Forgiveness

Sometimes I get so caught up in the grace of God that I forget to ask him to simply forgive me for my sins.

I keep reading in the New Testament all this encouragement from Paul in his letters. They're all about growing in the faith, staying true to the gospel, etc. They are chock full of the richness of following and claiming the salvation Jesus has offered.

But it really hit me yesterday, as I was standing in the shower, reviewing my prayer list on the wall, that I need forgiveness. I am always so busy praying for other people and things that I just flat forget that I'm a sinner in need of that saving grace. At our church, we have communion every week, so that's a good time to remember the sacrifice of Jesus and to ask for His grace and forgiveness.

But for me, that really needs to be a daily thing. His mercies are new every morning, whether I ask for them or not. But asking for my sins to be forgiven reminds me that I am indeed a fallen, filthy person, unable to save myself, and apparently unwilling to stop doing the things for which I have to ask forgiveness.

Ouch.

And yet, praise God that I have this forgiveness immediately!

Hunk O Man started something in our family when the girls were born. We apologise and then are required to say the words, "Will you please forgive me?" It's humbling, whether you're the one embarassed to receive it, or spitting the words out despite your self-righteous pride.

When I'm the one being asked, I often will say "Of course, no need to even ask." And yet there is a need to ask. There is a need for us to humble ourselves and admit these -- let's just call'em what they are, shall we?

Our mistakes.
Our shortcomings.
Our failures.
Our screw-ups.
The ways we've hurt others by the things we say, or don't say.
The ways we've hurt others by what we've done, or haven't done.
OUR SINS.

It doesn't matter what these things are, because they don't define us. Christ defines us.

In this way we are reminded that it is Christ in us that is the Conquerer, and not we ourselves. The fact that we are already forgiven is beside the point; the idea here is to not forget who and what we are -- saved only by the sacrifice and grace of Jesus.

It's a pretty rudimentary point, but easy to overlook. Kind of like that "i before e" thing when you're spelling, or trying to remember which months have 30 days and which have 31, and singing that little song in your head. It never hurts to go back to the basics.

Lord, please forgive me of my sins today. Thank you for loving me enough to forgive them before I even ask. I want to follow you exclusively. Amen.

xoxox