Tuesday, January 8, 2008

Kids for sale, cheap. Any offer accepted. I'll even pay you to take them.

Oooooh, I am one mad mama today. We had the local appraisers come today to reappraise the house for our refinancing. Now, here's how it works around here: when people ask where you live, you don't give them a general area. You give them the exact house, and then they proceed to tell you who the last 5 people were who owned the house, and who built it.

Needless to say, this house had to be SPOTLESS for the appraisers, or it would soon be all over town that a local pastor lives with his family like pigs. I can just see the headline in the daily paper: LOCAL MINISTER LIVING IN FILTH! GOD IS APPALLED! HEALTH DEPARTMENT CALLED IN!

Well, we can't have that. I may not be a housekeeper, but I do have a wee bit of pride.

So I rallied the troops and spent all day, literally all day yesterday, I cleaned. I yelled. I kept after them. I ranted. I encouraged. I took down the Christmas tree and lights and decorations and swept and rearranged furniture and swept some more and got kids sweeping and, well, you get the idea.

So this morning, I'm thinking, good -- I just need to clean up the kitchen dishes, wipe off the counters, and sort the laundry to tidy up a bit in the laundry room (why take all that stuff to the laundromat for $30+ when the guy is coming tomorrow?). I began researching auto insurance on the web -- and had a cup of coffee.

At 10AM, just one hour (ONE HOUR!) before the appraisers were coming, I thought I'd have a look upstairs to just see the state of things. I felt pretty confident; the girls all knew they needed clean rooms and a clean bathroom. Hubby went about the business of putting away all the Christmas boxes which were stacked in the upstairs hallway, and I went into #3's room.

TOTAL DISASTER. We're talking global event here. Extinction level crisis.

I had to shove clothing under her bed, make the bed, put stuff away. Move on to #1's room; same thing. Tossing clothing into the closet, making the bed, cussing under my breath, vowing that I should never have had children. What was I thinking?

Then I went into the bathroom, where I went totally ballistic. Holy cow! My children actually DO live like pigs! I cleaned counters and sinks while Hubby cleaned the toilet and wiped down the bathtub and tried to do something with the floor while I rushed down to the laundry room to remedy that situation.

SO! Everybody's grounded until they're 40, no allowance again ever, and I'm not fixing dinner for them ever again. I will do their laundry, but I will do it when I like and if I like. I AM SO MAD!

I will relax today by making an apron, presumably for #4 but we'll just see if I give it to her and not keep it myself. (grrrrr) I will also get over to the pool and do my laps, since Hubby got me a renewed membership to the pool for Christmas, and I need to keep exercising. I will shop on Ebay for some babywale cord in a nice 30's-style print for Simplicity 3673. I will have another cup of coffee. I will read with #5 and crochet a bit. I will sit in my beautifully clean, nice, living room and enjoy the clean while it lasts. I will chase out any pesty kids when they arrive home from school.

I may even walk the dog. Or go buy pansies at Lowe's, which is my favourite flower at my favourite store. So there. Hmmph.

By the way, we gave our good friend B her apron, made from UFO fabric that I had. It was originally one of those vests that's pre-printed on fabric, and it said "I'm One Hot Tomato." Good grief, what was I thinking when I got that? I was actually going to wear a cotton vest that states that apparently I think I'm a hot tomato?

Fortunately the companion print, originally for lining, made up into a very cute apron (Butterick 5125). I cut out part of the vest print and used it as a pocket. Hopefully I can use the rest of the vest print somehow for another apron. Here's Bunny modeling it, and B LOVED it:

OK, it is high time for me to continue to decompress and have another cup of coffee. In my nice clean house. Where it's quiet. Aaaaahhhhhh. . . . the beautiful sound of the windchimes in my yard. Life is good, even when you're ready to give your kids away . . .

1 Comment:

Christy Sews said...

Hi Jen! I love stopping by your blog. It's such much fun to read.! Love the apron!! I finally took the disposable camera in to be developed. Hope to post about "the dress" and other scatterbrained thoughts this afternoon. Hope your morning has been peaceful thus far!