REGARDING . . .

Regarding . . . my aspirations to ever be a tennis coach.

I beg your pardon. I ask you, what aspirations?

I was conscripted into service to substitute coach for Monday's away match. Every girl lost except one. Even the doubles matches -- although I have to say we did give them all a run for their money.

During the doubles play, three of the girls were hit by balls. Hit hard. As in slammed with the ball at several bazillion miles per hour.

I mentioned to the opposing coach (a very nice older man with an absolutely grand panama hat) that we'd be happy to supply them with crash test dummies for practice if they liked.

He was not amused. I was even less amused.

I found it difficult to not be a very angry mom when two of the girls who were hit were my daughters. As if they were being used for target practice. JB got quite angry and slammed the balls back a couple of times for some excellent hits. Fortunately, she did not aim for either of the opposing players.

But in the end, they lost.

Also in the end, I found that neither my daughters nor I were able to distinguish between the mom and the coach. All attempts at coaching were met with rolled eyes and sarcastic comments.

So that's the end of that, literally.

Regarding . . . my aspirations to lose weight.

I must say, it's working. Slowly, but it is working.

Let me first say this. It's not true that no diet works. Every single diet there is will work, if you do it. I never believe it when overweight people say that the diet didn't work. I think the diet worked fine -- it just stopped working when they went back to their old habits.

Which is exactly what has happened to me after Weight Watchers.

The second time.

I'm having some limited success on this Alternate Day Diet thing. But here's the thing --

IT'S THE WAY I ALREADY EAT.

On the "down" days, I generally just eat very little or simply fast. I drink a lot of water and visit the little girls' room a lot. And on the days when I eat, I really do eat whatever I want.

I am not journaling what I eat, as you are well advised to do when doing this diet. I hated that with Weight Watchers and I hate it now -- although it does keep one accountable.

These days, there are so few battles that I win. Having to journal what I eat feels like one more thing I have to do, one more shackle on my ankle. So, I don't do it. I keep a mental track of the calories on the down days, staying generally under 500. And the up days I throw all caution to the wind and sometimes even make brownies.

And when I get on the scale after a down day, I get to win a little. I still have a long way to go. But I'm encouraged.

Today was a weepy day for me, rainy outside and I was sad. Allergies have beset me coming and going -- I am living on Claratin and Sudafed. Some days, life is just no fun. Add to this that I live in a town with a paper mill, and the wind has been blowing our direction. My house tends to smell like rotten garbage. It is most certainly NOT the smell of money (although I am thankful that it does employ so many in our town).

But hopefully tomorrow the wind will change and the sun will shine. And I will stop bristling under small chores like feeding the dog, or doing the dishes, and I will remember that these are the holy things in life, these small tasks. They prepare us for heaven.

Not that I'm ready right now or anything. This minute.