Two Op-Eds and a Rant

ON THE HOSPITAL FRONT:

All better now. Sorta. I'm still coughing but I'm up and going. I laid low all day yesterday, in bed, sleeping to make up for all the sleep I've lost!



REGARDING A CUPPA JOE:

I've been drinking Bug's Chai Tea, and I find it very comforting and nice. It's got some body to it, rather than just a plain cup of teabag-ish tea. I have always preferred coffee. Coffee seems to have an umph to it -- a body, if you will, that tea just lacks. Tea seems kind of thin and watery to me.



Now this Chai Tea of hers is Mystic Chai that you can find at Sam's Club. It's very good. But I'd like to make my own if possible. The trouble is, you have to have cardamom. It's a spice and at my local Wal-Mart, it's $12! That's just too much for a spice unless it's gold-laced saffron or something.



So I'm on the hunt for some cheap cardamom. In the meantime I'm drinking my regular hazelnut with a splash of milk and 3 packets of aspertame.



My dad used to say "You like a little coffee with that cream and sugar?" I now reply to him, "Dad, you just enjoy that black nasty cup of paving tar and I'll enjoy my nice delicious coffee."



I learned to drink coffee when I was a senior in high school. It was a rite of passage for me, since everyone I've ever known in my family drinks the stuff. I mixed it with packages of hot cocoa mix, and it was wonderful. I did gain about 10 lbs. my senior year -- but I thoroughly enjoyed my coffee. And it was nice being able to sit after dinner with the grownups.



In college, I lived on the generic instant stuff and lots of milk and sugar or sugar substitute. How I did that, I can only attribute to the fact that I would also stay up all night and live on Diet Coke and McDonald's french fries. I would also treat myself to frozen cool whip with natural peanut butter, a spoonful at a time. Some people smoked weed or drank too much. Me, I just ate like one of those birds in Mary Poppins.



Now that I am older and wiser, I mix up a nice batch of half decaf, half regular beans. I use Millstone Hazelnut Cream. My mother in law got me a grinder about a million years ago, and I use it to grind the beans as I need them. Then I use a splash of milk and sweetner. It's better if I use evaporated milk -- but I fear that's too many calories for the amount of cups I drink.



Some people I've talked with tell me they enjoy a cup of coffee in the morning. To this, I reply "What lightweights! I drink a POT of coffee in the mornings!" I used to split the pot with Lynnette, my walking partner, but that was many years ago when I would rise at 5AM to do a couple of miles with her. We only really walked for the coffee.



My children will now drink it, although generally it has to come from Starbucks. It was a mistake I made early on, taking them there. I heartily discourage any mom with children to make the trip, even if it does save the mom's sanity. It will cost you dearly, my friends.



REGARDING PROJECT RUNWAY, SEVERAL DAYS LATE:

Well, I know I'm late but I have been sick . . . excuses, excuses! I have failed to make it work!



The final three were LeAnn, Kenley, and Korto. While all 3 collections were gorgeous, LeAnn's really stood out as the most artistic and cohesive to me. It looked like all her pieces came from the same designer. This was kind of a "best of the best" thing for me -- they are all so talented, and all deserved huge accolades.



And LeAnn won, just barely beating Korto and Kenley came in third. They were all very weepy; typical of women contestants -- you'd have thought this might be Miss America. But in their defense, I have to say that there is a lot to be said for putting your creations out for the world to judge. It takes courage.



So now I hope Lost comes back, because there's nothing on TV for the next few Wednesday nights. Except Top Design, and I'm kind of wishy-washy on it. It's more fun to watch for Jonathan Adler's wide ties and Kelly Wearstler's ridiculous outfits.



AND ONE LAST BIT OF PREACHING FROM MY SOAPBOX . . .

My youngest watches Disney channel a lot. Recently, for Halloween, I heard from the other room that you could "logon and make your own spells" at their website.



Ok, that's it. That's taking it too far. I hope those of you with children who watch this channel just turn it off. Making your own spells? God tells us to have nothing to do with witchcraft or the occult. While I am decidedly not of those people thumping my bible and telling everyone who reads Harry Potter they're going to hell -- I do draw the line somewhere.



The thing to remember is that God tells us this to protect us. It is highly self-indulgent and out-and-out-conceited to think that we could possibly understand the unseen world. It will trick us and get us into serious trouble if we mess with it. There is a battle going on between Satan and God, my friends, and we are the battleground. Satan uses us and hurts us purposely, solely because we are loved by God and hurting us hurts God. Satan could care less about us. And if we dabble the unseen world, he's all the more delighted to take advantage of us.



So be careful. Be smart. And don't be logging on to create your own spells. Bad idea.



Instead, go have a nice cup of Chai Tea or really good coffee -- any way you like it!



xox

How to Handle Stress 101

I didn't used to handle conflict well. I still am pretty bad at it, but not in the same way.

I have the spiritual gift of prophecy. That means I am compelled to speak the truth -- always, no matter where, no matter when. I used to blurt it out. This tended to create conflict.

Now I am a little better with timing. I am told this is called "tact."

Also, I used to hold everything in until I just blew up. Or I would just blow up because it was too much at one time. I was Volcano Mom. My kids can tell you, and I have begged God to erase their memories (and my own) of all the times I was a Volcano Mom. I have now figured out that it had to do with too much information coming in.

Perhaps I am autistic. Seriously, I should investigate that. Or perhaps I am just a serious introvert who is incapable of controlling the volcano.

Now I do better. Of course, I take crazy drugs, so I am somewhat tactful and I can handle the normal amount of information coming in.

(However, I am still crazy, the good kind of crazy -- I now have a bruise on my right elbow from my persistence in trying to hug my daughter. Bug is in her "I vant to be alooone" stage, which she frequents frequently, and so I wrestled her to the kitchen floor on Saturday. But I got my hug!)

Anyway -- I say all this because I have become a sounding board for a couple of people. What a compliment!

I try to be a good listener because I am a very bad one by nature. I just wanna talk about me. I love that quote from "Beaches" where Bette Midler says

"But enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of me?"

So I've been listening lately to some frustrated people, and that has totally stressed me out. But not in a bad way -- rather, in an empathetic way. This is unusual for me, since I approach most problems with a "that's life, deal with it" sort of attitude. Although the cry of my early life was "But Mom, it's not fair!" I quickly changed when I became a Mom and had to answer questions like "But how come she gets one and I don't?" I responded by saying "Because I love her more than you."

I really do still say that. Respond to a ridiculous question with a ridiculous answer. My kids have always understood that.

So last Wednesday night, I decided enough with all this stress, I'm taking a sleeping pill and forgetting it all. I won't dream crazy dreams that make me tired, and I won't wake up to Hunk O Man's droning snore.

So I took the OTC generic sleeping pill. And I slept like a rock.

FOR TWENTY-FOUR -- 24 -- HOURS.

I tried to wake up Thursday morning. I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed. I brushed my teeth. I sat down and fell asleep in Hunk O Man's chair.

Dragging myself into the kitchen, I drank a cup of coffee. I walked into my bedroom and sat down on the bed. Uh-oh. Which turned into another 5-hour nap.

I got up. I stumbled around with my eyes half open. I drank Diet Coke. I puttered around. I tried to function. I walked into things. I tried to form complete sentences. I did pretty well for about 2 hours. I think I even fooled my family, except when it came to cooking dinner.

Then it was time for bed! So I got my crossword and settled in. I was asleep again by 11PM.

I woke up Friday morning refreshed, got up at 7AM, felt great, and got tons accomplished. I felt amazing! We got ready for the yard sale the girls hosted on Saturday, I went with B to the new Aldi store and Sam's Club and Harris Teeter. I bought fresh beets and hot dogs without nitrates.

When I got home, I checked the answering machine, and it was the newspaper lady, saying that she'd left a message with "sum-bahdy, sayin' yew wazzunt up yay-ette." The tone of disapproval in her voice made me cringe. I am going to kill whatever kid told her I was sleeping all day yesterday.

So the moral of this story is this: Be nice. And don't get stressed out.

(And if you do, take half a sleeping pill)

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-Jig

Actually, I got home on Sunday night. After I was forcibly dragged from the Jeffersonville Outlet Mall by my children.

We left Mom and Dad's at 10:00AM. The Outlet Mall is about 35 minutes from their house.

We left the Outlet Mall at 2:30PM.

Listen, when you live in the middle of nowhere, you gotta get your shopping where you can. I left there with a gorgeous dress and top from the Talbot's Outlet, and only $12 poorer. JB got a capris/bermudas/whatever-those-long-shorts-are-called and top outfit for about $20. Baby got a pair of flip flops from Old Navy. Bunny got a top there. Everyone was happy.

We got home around 11:30PM, which is actually pretty much record time for us. Plus, I drove at or below the speed limit, because I am committed to keeping the RPM's at 2.1. We did actually save a bit of gas doing this. I am amazed that you can get better gas mileage going a little slower, and it only takes you about 10 minutes more on a 10-hour trip.

I think I can afford 10 minutes out of my 10 hours when it's $4/gallon.

Now that I'm home, I took off Monday to recover. Yesterday, I spent driving all over northeastern North Carolina returning a comforter set for Rose, hitting Sam's Club, and going to the furthest Wal-Mart-with-WM-Optical-Dept only to be told that Baby's glasses are, in fact, NOT under warranty and cannot be replaced.

I also solved a few financial glitches on the phone while driving.

Needless to say, I had to have a frappucino. Which was essentially free, thanks to my sweet and dear sister K (who gave me a Starbucks card for my birthday).

I returned home to a house full of Marco Polos, who at 9:00PM wanted me to make pizza. I respectfully declined. They were all celebrating Bunny's earning her driver's license, thanks to getting the nice man at the DMV instead of the mean lady, and 2nd-time's-a-charm.

So today I am staying home. All the other drivers in this house can have the cars.