The Bunny Morphs into Barbie

Ok, so on Sunday we went shopping, Bunny and JB and I. We drove up to Civilization North, which is the less-taxable-different-state version of Civilization South.

However, Civilization North should not to be confused with Civilization Yankee. Civilization Yankee is where Grandma and Pappy live.

We went (to Civilization North) because Bunny found a dress online (basically the only way we can shop without driving long distances) at JCPenney. It was THE dress. It was beautiful. They had it at the JCP in the mall in Civilization North. She called and they put it on hold on Saturday. We told the JCP folks, "We'll come after there's no hurricane."

(hurricane? There was a hurricane? THAT was a hurricane? It makes me think of when we first moved to southern California from Indiana, and we heard "Winter Storm Warning!" on the TV. IT WAS RAINING. Four more years in SoCal confirmed to us that those people simply cannot drive in the rain.)

Anyway. Back to the dress.

We went. We found it. She tried it on.

IT WAS AWFUL.

I told her she looked as if she were trying to play dress up in something of mine. JB's comments were a little nicer -- she said "It's just not you."

The Bunny was unhappy. Then she got a headache.

Now, Bunny is the life of every party. When she was just 3 and Hunk O Man was dropping her off for childcare on Sunday, she peeked her head in the door and said in a voice that would rival Ed McMahon introducing Johnny Carson, "Hey, everybody! It's Bunny!" The party could now begin because she was there to coordinate it!

No kidding. We had our new Pastor and his wife over for pizza on Friday night, and she coordinated all the game playing and fun. She needs to be an event coordinator when she grows up.

But while shopping, she was not a Happy Bunny. JB tried to cheer her up and I gave her ibuprofen. We both told her we would die for her figure. That we loved her. That she was the favourite of all the sisters.

She tried on more dresses. So did JB. Unfortunately, JB is another 2" taller and has a fuller figure, if you know what I mean, wink wink. Everything they tried on (in a whiny voice) "looks better on JB."

So we finally found three dresses that looked fabulous on her. She settled on a lemon yellow short "bubble" dress with obnoxious jewels at the "umpire" waist. Initially she said she wanted me to tear them off and replace them with something else, but now I think she's getting used to them and likes them. JB found a beautiful prom dress for an incredible price, and we also found this pink sparkly strapless thing that I am determined to cut off and make into a bubble dress. And add straps. JB says that she will wear it for homecoming if we don't find her another dress.

Guess what. News flash! We're not looking for another dress.

So even though Bunny was a bit distressed, a bad day shopping with her is better than a great day shopping with OCD-obsessed Rose. I don't know what Rose is doing about her homecoming dress, but I vow to send someone else shopping with her. I love my Rose to death, and I love spending time with her just hanging out, or cooking, or watching movies, or going places. But shopping, no. She is not a shopper.

Shopping is a family event that should only be coordinated by The Bunny.

Hey! Maybe I should send her boyfriend's mom with her! They love her to pieces, and she'd rather spend time over there than here. Shopping would be a great experience for them!

So the upshot of all this shopping is that I have resolved to call Bunny "Barbie" now. Especially after watching her play tennis yesterday. Rose, JB, and Bunny all play tennis, and they all wear the same tennis uniform. They play hard, and they look great.

But Bunny is the one who has the cute earrings, the necklace that matches, and that blonde ponytail swinging behind her matching visor.

So Barbie it is. My little Barbie Doll. The life of the party.

How to Handle Stress 101

I didn't used to handle conflict well. I still am pretty bad at it, but not in the same way.

I have the spiritual gift of prophecy. That means I am compelled to speak the truth -- always, no matter where, no matter when. I used to blurt it out. This tended to create conflict.

Now I am a little better with timing. I am told this is called "tact."

Also, I used to hold everything in until I just blew up. Or I would just blow up because it was too much at one time. I was Volcano Mom. My kids can tell you, and I have begged God to erase their memories (and my own) of all the times I was a Volcano Mom. I have now figured out that it had to do with too much information coming in.

Perhaps I am autistic. Seriously, I should investigate that. Or perhaps I am just a serious introvert who is incapable of controlling the volcano.

Now I do better. Of course, I take crazy drugs, so I am somewhat tactful and I can handle the normal amount of information coming in.

(However, I am still crazy, the good kind of crazy -- I now have a bruise on my right elbow from my persistence in trying to hug my daughter. Bug is in her "I vant to be alooone" stage, which she frequents frequently, and so I wrestled her to the kitchen floor on Saturday. But I got my hug!)

Anyway -- I say all this because I have become a sounding board for a couple of people. What a compliment!

I try to be a good listener because I am a very bad one by nature. I just wanna talk about me. I love that quote from "Beaches" where Bette Midler says

"But enough about me. Let's talk about you. What do you think of me?"

So I've been listening lately to some frustrated people, and that has totally stressed me out. But not in a bad way -- rather, in an empathetic way. This is unusual for me, since I approach most problems with a "that's life, deal with it" sort of attitude. Although the cry of my early life was "But Mom, it's not fair!" I quickly changed when I became a Mom and had to answer questions like "But how come she gets one and I don't?" I responded by saying "Because I love her more than you."

I really do still say that. Respond to a ridiculous question with a ridiculous answer. My kids have always understood that.

So last Wednesday night, I decided enough with all this stress, I'm taking a sleeping pill and forgetting it all. I won't dream crazy dreams that make me tired, and I won't wake up to Hunk O Man's droning snore.

So I took the OTC generic sleeping pill. And I slept like a rock.

FOR TWENTY-FOUR -- 24 -- HOURS.

I tried to wake up Thursday morning. I dragged myself out of bed and got dressed. I brushed my teeth. I sat down and fell asleep in Hunk O Man's chair.

Dragging myself into the kitchen, I drank a cup of coffee. I walked into my bedroom and sat down on the bed. Uh-oh. Which turned into another 5-hour nap.

I got up. I stumbled around with my eyes half open. I drank Diet Coke. I puttered around. I tried to function. I walked into things. I tried to form complete sentences. I did pretty well for about 2 hours. I think I even fooled my family, except when it came to cooking dinner.

Then it was time for bed! So I got my crossword and settled in. I was asleep again by 11PM.

I woke up Friday morning refreshed, got up at 7AM, felt great, and got tons accomplished. I felt amazing! We got ready for the yard sale the girls hosted on Saturday, I went with B to the new Aldi store and Sam's Club and Harris Teeter. I bought fresh beets and hot dogs without nitrates.

When I got home, I checked the answering machine, and it was the newspaper lady, saying that she'd left a message with "sum-bahdy, sayin' yew wazzunt up yay-ette." The tone of disapproval in her voice made me cringe. I am going to kill whatever kid told her I was sleeping all day yesterday.

So the moral of this story is this: Be nice. And don't get stressed out.

(And if you do, take half a sleeping pill)

I Ran Away Yesterday

I got tired of being the one who never gets the car. So I stole it and ran away.

(IF YOU'RE HERE FOR THE GIVEAWAY CARNIVAL, KEEP SCROLLING)



Just to the nearest big town, really, to drop off my dead serger and browse Tuesday Morning. Great store -- also went over to Big Lots, another favourite store. I found a few things. At Tuesday Morning, I found the greatest decorating book:

I used to be a big fan of Lynette Jennings, until she got her American show and things went downhill. It was a show with a live audience, and I just didn't care for it. She started sounding like the penultimate know-it-all of home decorating.

But she was the one that got me started on HGTV with decorating. She was the one I'd watch and learn from -- I remember one thing she said that has never left me. She held up a piece of wood to a white wall and said "see how this looks brown?" Then she held it up to a colored wall -- red or blue or something -- and said "see how now it has woodgrain, and depth?" I couldn't believe my eyes. She was right.

When I picked up this book yesterday at Tuesday Morning, I didn't have much hopes for it. But was I ever surprised! She throws out all the rules about decorating, and rather helps you organise yourself and identify your own style based on what you already have. And based on what things you own which mean a lot to you. This is really good stuff. I even sent a copy to my good friend Chari via Amazon.

I just finished upstairs installing a new ceiling fan for Rose. I think I bruised my thumb. Waaah. I also removed the cabinet doors and hardware from my bathroom cabinet. Time to paint. I have the girls painting doors today -- I haven't had a door on my bedroom, my bathroom, my closet, the half bath, or the hall closet for a few days now.

Actually, I kind of like it.

Lynette has me thinking I should knock out a wall. One of the pages in the book says "Your kitchen can be your living room. Why not?" What a great idea. Talk about an easy way to alleviate all the food dishes that accumulate in the family room!

Shopping with Hunk O Man

Today, if I can ever get Hunk O Man outta bed (it's 12:30PM and he's still sleeping!), we're going to look at Honda scooters. For me!

I saved us so much money in taxes that I asked for one and he said maybe. Plus, I will finally be able to get back and forth to Lowe's and Wal-Mart, the only two places to shop in my town.

We do have a new Tractor Supply store. Which Hunk O Man told me yesterday is really more of a hardware store, so that may top my list before long. I love me a good hardware store, especially the ones with the little screws and nuts in sizes you can't find anywhere else.

I also want to head over to Lowe's and get shelving. I have an idea to STOP THE MADNESS which is constant between Babydoll and JB, who share a room. I want to put shelving on all four of their walls, about a foot below the ceiling. This will serve two purposes: first, it will get all their crap stuff off the floor. Secondly, it will enable Babydoll to put all her crap stuff on the shelf so she can access things while on the top bunk.

I also want to head over to the local carpet place to check out remnants for their room.

And today is the deadline for the girls to finish pricing all the garage sale stuff. Which I believe, in fact, they haven't even started. I guess they'll be busy today.

And just FYI -- especially for you, Queen B -- while shopping yesterday in Bed Bath and Beyond with Hunk O Man, on our big trip to Sam's in the City, he said this:

"You know, if they had those Sham-Wow thingys, I think I'd buy one."

Home Again, Home Again, Jiggety-Jig

Actually, I got home on Sunday night. After I was forcibly dragged from the Jeffersonville Outlet Mall by my children.

We left Mom and Dad's at 10:00AM. The Outlet Mall is about 35 minutes from their house.

We left the Outlet Mall at 2:30PM.

Listen, when you live in the middle of nowhere, you gotta get your shopping where you can. I left there with a gorgeous dress and top from the Talbot's Outlet, and only $12 poorer. JB got a capris/bermudas/whatever-those-long-shorts-are-called and top outfit for about $20. Baby got a pair of flip flops from Old Navy. Bunny got a top there. Everyone was happy.

We got home around 11:30PM, which is actually pretty much record time for us. Plus, I drove at or below the speed limit, because I am committed to keeping the RPM's at 2.1. We did actually save a bit of gas doing this. I am amazed that you can get better gas mileage going a little slower, and it only takes you about 10 minutes more on a 10-hour trip.

I think I can afford 10 minutes out of my 10 hours when it's $4/gallon.

Now that I'm home, I took off Monday to recover. Yesterday, I spent driving all over northeastern North Carolina returning a comforter set for Rose, hitting Sam's Club, and going to the furthest Wal-Mart-with-WM-Optical-Dept only to be told that Baby's glasses are, in fact, NOT under warranty and cannot be replaced.

I also solved a few financial glitches on the phone while driving.

Needless to say, I had to have a frappucino. Which was essentially free, thanks to my sweet and dear sister K (who gave me a Starbucks card for my birthday).

I returned home to a house full of Marco Polos, who at 9:00PM wanted me to make pizza. I respectfully declined. They were all celebrating Bunny's earning her driver's license, thanks to getting the nice man at the DMV instead of the mean lady, and 2nd-time's-a-charm.

So today I am staying home. All the other drivers in this house can have the cars.