A Little Laughter

I have a heavy heart today. Not depressed -- believe me, I know the difference! But heavy, as in saddened by things I can't fix. I watched the Oscars last night -- what a show! It was mostly pretty good; Hugh Jackman rocked! But I was saddened to see how we rewarded "Milk."

Put it any way you like -- I am for homosexuals and against homosexuality. The same way I'm for lusters and against lust. Just like I'm for adulterers and against adultery. Or for murderers and against murder. Or for gossips and against gossiping.

Let's face it, the foot of the cross is level ground, because in the end it really doesn't make any difference what it is that separates you from God. What matters is that we're separated.

It seems like rewarding the bad behaviour amounts to looking the opposite direction of the bridge -- the bridge being Jesus, of course. For most people, it's just easier to try and get sinners on their side rather than to get themselves on the side of Jesus. As if majority ruled or something. And honestly, campaigning seems like a lot more work and energy than just joining the other side.

Ah, if only I realised this on a daily basis and quit putting all my energy into the wrong things!

Since all this makes my heart heavy, I thought I'd share with you a little story, totally Barbie. This happened when she was 6 years old (she's now 16):

Hunk O Man asked Barbie about her Sunday School lesson that day.

She said "It was about the Good Samaritan.."

He then asked her for the details of the story, just to see if she'd been paying attention -- because not only was this a 6-year old, this was our Barbie.

She related the details of the story of the Good Samaritan pretty well. Hunk O Man was impressed! He then asked her what she'd learned from this particular story.

Barbie didn't even hesitate:

"Well two things, Daddy. First of all, if you're going on a walk like that, always take an adult with you. And second, you should always remember to take your cell phone in case you need to call 911."

Never let it be said that God's Word isn't always relevant in today's day and age.

xoxox

New Barbie-ism

The garage sale continues. Stuff is everywhere. Not sure I'm making any money but I am keeping busy.

This has been quite a week. Rose had her wisdom teeth out Friday. She is our Squirrel. Barbie once tried to make a snide comment about what a squirrel she is, and called her a chipmunk instead. I almost died laughing over that one. Oh, the tone she used!

Now she looks a bit like a chipmunk. But only on one side, since they had to leave one of the teeth in. The Boyfriend doesn't know what to do, (typical man) and she is cranky because people have been messing with her. (Here, honey, have another Vicodin.)

I went to two doctor's appts this week; I've had it with these sinus headaches and I am insisting that they remove my head and fix it and then put it back on. They have instead put me on an antihistimine which knocks me out for 24 hours at a time. They have also promised a potential CAT scan of my head in 3 weeks.


Maybe I should contact Dr. House. I bet he'd take my head off and fix it and then put it back on right. (yawn)

And the latest priceless comedy moment from Barbie:

Hunk O Man and Rose and Barbie were getting out of the car at Chick-fil-A, where Rose used to work. Rose noticed that there was an unmarked police car in the parking lot. Rose knows these cars because apparently the police here frequent Chick-Fil-A more than the local donut shop.

Rose: "Hey look. There's an unmarked police car."
Hunk O Man: "Oh, yeah. "
Barbie: "Well it doesn't LOOK like a police car."

xoxox

Comedians Live for these Moments

Last night, watching Peter Pan rehearsal was a bit like watching Wally the Director trying to keep several ping-pong balls underwater at the same time. They were going over some scenes with the Lost Boys-- all of whom are an average age of about nine.

I sat reading my new book, "The Shack," and trying not to laugh out loud.

I nearly failed at one point when the Lost Boys were asking Wendy to tell them the "end of the story" of several fairy tales. And then, one asks:

"Tell us the end of Ham-a-lette."

Ham-a-lette?

Oh, the things going thru my mind.

"I'd like a western hamalette, please."
"No, I don't want a big ham steak, just a hamalette please."
"It's not a big ham. It's a little bitty hamalette."
"That's not a boy ham, stupid. It's a girl. She's a Ham-a-lette!"

I successfully refrained from laughing, but I still didn't get much book reading done. Wally corrected the pronounciation by the child, and all the while I'm wondering why?

As I said goodbye to Wally, he likened the entire evening to "herding cats."

I came home to find a couple of girls nestled in my bed, eating dinner and bowls of ice cream and watching my tv.

(And the answer would be no, truly nothing really is sacred these days)

So I plopped down in the chair and Barbie started talking about something -- can't remember what -- and JB was texting on the phone, and Barbie decided to change positions. So she arranged herself on her stomach, with her head at the end of the bed facing me, and kept talking.

JB decided to do the same. And then Barbie wanted the phone.

And their heads collided. It was a funny moment, and I went into a laughing/coughing fit truly appropriate for a critical condition intensive care TB ward.

They also laughed. Barbie exclaimed that JB's head was "So hard!" I agreed. JB has a round head, like her daddy. Like Charlie Brown.

Now Barbie has a narrow head, and a skinny body. So JB called her "Pinhead!"

To which Barbie replied "Brick Brains!"

This didn't help me at all with the laughing fit. And they continued laughing at each other, holding their heads and trying not to fall off the bed.

All this prompted an exploration for the correct term for each girl to use in describing the other girl's head. "Tootsie Pop," "Dum-Dum," and finally "Rosebud" were offered for Barbie, since she is basically a stick with a round thing on top.

The obvious ones for JB were offered as well -- "Pumpkin Head," "Concrete Skull," etc.

In the end, everyone had a good laugh because these two particular sisters get along extraordinarily well.

"Stupidhead" used to be the big bad name-calling name around here. For years it was the most condemning, horrible term you could use when referring to a sister.

Now, they just say "Genius." As in,

"Right, Genius, we're going skip church on Sunday morning and sleep in. While Daddy preaches."

Or "No, Genius, I want the phone so I can bang my head with it. Why do you THINK I want the phone?"

Or "No, Genius, I can't take a shower because YOU used all the hot water, thank YOU very much!"

I could go on and on. But I will say this: calling someone a genius is far better than calling them an overtly derogatory name. Even if you say it just dripping with sarcasm.

As in,

"No, Genius, I wasn't texting my friend, I was herding cats with the phone. You just keep all those ping pong balls underwater while I have me a Ham-a-lette."

xox

Tennis a la Wesner

This is Rose.

Rose is always ready for you and your bad self.

Rose is not playing around.

Rose is playing some serious tennis here.

Rose is serious about smacking that ball. You'd better be able to either hit it back,

or get out of the way.

I'm not even kidding.

This is JB. She's not fooling around either.

JB can't even believe you.

JB's got a mean serve.

And yesterday, JB won.

Won Big.

Barbie is our Fashionista Tennis Player.

Because it is all about how you look when you play tennis.

Adjust ponytail.

Ew! Was that a bug? In my dangly earring?

Ok, ponytail is set. The swing is good. Necklace doesn't move.

Look left and -- pose! Hey, whatcha doing over there, JB? Was that in? Are you sure?

Do these balls in my skirt make me look fat?

Bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce bounce

OK.

Barbie is now ready to play some serious tennis.

And, serve!

I do love my Barbie Doll.

xox

Beautiful Girls in Beautiful Dresses

HOMECOMING 2008

I was manning the concession booth at the football game while all this beauty was happening!

Rose and JB

Barbie, looking gorgeous --

Kisses! JB's lips are the envy of all. And she's the one without the escort to the dance!

Rose and The Boyfriend, who comes home every weekend from college because he's so over-the-moon over her! And she over him!

JB and lipgloss. From the looks of this photo, it's anyone's guess how she got those gorgeous lips above.

This girl even makes braces look good!

After all that homecoming dress drama, it always turns out well. I continue to be amazed at the absolute gorgeousness of my daughters . . .

It was an Inspiring Evening of PR Dish.

Well, Barbie and I watched PR last night, and dished and ate popcorn and dished and then we watched Top Design. I swear, if I had been drinking something, it would have come flying out my nose. That Barbie Doll of mine is flat hilarious. I nearly fell off the bed laughing.

So, Project Runway.

Joe is out. Pity. Nice straight guy with a great eye. What is with all the straight guys being Italians?

Maybe there is something to the idea that all great fashion comes out of Milan.

Joe made this, for a girl who just graduated college and will be looking for a job as a graphic designer. And her mother was involved:

Pretty girl -- but the outfit speaks for itself.

Jerrell won with this, for a girl who loves being in a t-shirt and jeans --

What a transformation. This guy really is talented after all!

LeAnn made a very cute jacket and dress for a very short, very young elementary school teacher. But she was in the bottom 3, and that wasn't good. It really was a cute dress.

And Kenley stole my heart with this outfit for another girl working as a fashion buyer:

Kenley is a great fan of 40's vintage, and creates everything to reflect that. I happen to love that as well; it's very feminine, and very pretty. And flattering to most every body.

Plus she has a cool name. Kenley. Wish I'd thought of that one.

Honestly, all these designers really are incredibly talented. I know they've all been to design school and all, but come on! I've been sewing for 30 years, and I still need a pattern most of the time. These folks come up with this stuff out of their imaginations and a fabric store. THAT is talent.

We also watched Top Design, the Project Runway of home decorating.

First off, I have to say that Kelly Wearstler is the oddest, strangest looking person I have ever seen in my life. Barbie and I decided that she must just wash her very long hair in hairspray, dry it upside down, and then go out in the humidity. And then she puts on a hat.

And what is up with her SOCKS?

All I can say is this: You know you're getting old when you fail to be able to distinguish between "cutting edge" and "just plain ridiculous."

Margaret Russell, on the other hand, is the absolute Martha Stewart of fashion in terms of the way she looks on the show. Always impeccable -- beautiful clothing, beautiful and basic hair. Wow.

As for the contestants this season, my favourites are these --

Wisit, a strange, odd little person who can sing fabulous opera --

And Kerry, who is officially out of the competition as of last night, but who proved himself a man of good design and wonderful integrity:

These two were teamed together to create a window display for previous PR winner Jeffrey (whom I insist to this day cheated and shouldn't have won). Jeffrey is looking like an unkempt biker dude lately, complete with handlebar mustache. Apparently winning PR means you never have to shave or cut your hair.

But I digress. He made this outfit that he said was inspired by the movie Bladerunner. Cool movie, but you have to be old enough to remember it. Interestingly, neither Kerry or Wisit, above, had heard of it. And that's a pity, because it's a great movie. I spent quite a bit of time explaining the look of it to Barbie.

It basically looks like urban Japanese streets in the pouring rain.

So they should have made the window look like Bladerunner, but didn't, and now Kerry is out because he was the project leader. I am sad. He was so talented, and funny! Last week Barbie and I nearly died laughing, repeating him saying in his deep, slow, southern drawl, "You got to have ya a work ethick. And you got to bu-leeve in yerself.

You can have your American Idol and America's Got Talent and America's Got Entirely Too Many People Lining Up to Have Some Celebrity Say You're Good Enough. I like these design shows. Hunk O Man hates that they're so subjective; he also hates gymnastics and ice skating for the same reason. He says to give him a good track race anyday. You can't argue with the clock. True enough, but I like the subjectivity. And the brilliance of these people really comes through, whether or not you agree with those who are chosen to be the best.

This type of brilliance is less rare than you'd think. One look through the things on Etsy will tell you that. The way communication has connected the world is really a good thing for the arts communities.

Beauty abounds. I am inspired yet again to look at God and just marvel.

Wow.

PR Dish

Well! Finally a challenge that got rid of two designers, and got us down to a manageable amount of people to compete. And now there are only six.

Firstly, the designers were not at all happy to find that their designs would be judged by former contestants of PR. To this I say, "Get over it."

Then they weren't happy to have their own auf'ed compadres as partners. To this I also say "Get over it."

(by the way, Bug and Rose are on kitchen for their chore this week, and once again I woke up to a kitchen full of dirty dishes. They say they hate doing it. To this I reply, "Get over it!")


So they were supposed to make an Avant Garde "look" inspired" by an astrological sign.

avant garde: unorthodox or daring; radical. (from http://www.dictionary.com/).

Barbie was watching this with me and noticed that her sign, Gemini, was not represented. The conversation went like this:

Barbie: Those are totally not zodiac signs.
Baby: Yes they are.
Me: Yes they are.
Barbie: No they aren't. They so are not zodiac signs.
Baby: Yes they are, Barbie!
Me: Why do you think they aren't?
Barbie: They're not zodiac signs. They're astrological signs.
Baby: YES THEY ARE ZODIAC SIGNS.
Me: Honey, they are zodiac signs.
Barbie: Then where's mine?
Me: Honey, just because they don't have your sign represented doesn't mean they
aren't zodiac signs.
Barbie: That's so not fair! I want an outfit too!

So Blayne is out.

Buh-bye, Blayne. I have no problem with this because he's so young and has so many more chances to make his mark. And this outfit was just ridiculous.

He'll grow up a little and get better. Nuff said.

Terri, on the other hand, is also out.

She's made some decent things, but honestly, I hated her attitude. It was like somebody put a burr under her seat. Jeesh. She was so uncooperative with Keith, her partner, who could have really helped her.

I know it's all about the outfit, but I'm glad she's out just because she was such a pain!

Korto (whose name is apparently pronounced "kah-toe") was once again robbed of a win.

This was gorgeous and flowing and very water-like. I loved it. It looked gorgeous coming down the runway.

LeAnne was also robbed, but then she's won a couple of the past weeks in a row, so there you go. Maybe she wasn't robbed after all.

This is supposed to represent the idea of a scorpion. And it's supposed to be a dress, not a costume, so I think it does the job. It's "inspired" by the idea of the thing. That's one thing that LeAnne seems to do exceptionally well; I think it speaks highly of her as an artist.

This won. It was made by Jerrell.

Once again, I have to say that I am a normal person, a mom living in the real world, and roughly 20+ years older than most of these designers.

And I ask you. Are you kidding me? THIS won? It beat the other two things just above?

Well.

Fashion is certainly in the eye of the beholder.

I'm just sayin.

So that's it until next week and what looks to be the Lady-I-Had-As-A-Former-Schoolteacher challenge. That should be interesting.

Actually, I'd love to hear what you think if you watch this show, or even if you just have something to say about the photos of things above. What is it with youth these days? We couldn't possibly have been that full of ourselves, could we have?

(wink wink)